she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
