Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize