how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
