super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize