dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
