sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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