Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm really busy with my period
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