yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
