whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
