Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
