Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize