So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
