yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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