It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
