wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
