i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
how do you play pong handcuffed?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
