my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
