Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
