THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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