omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
