i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
