How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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