Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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