he puts the penis in happiness.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
