He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My ass is underappreciated
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
