so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
last night I used snow as a chaser
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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