she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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