No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
