I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
