Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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