hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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