Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
