I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he puts the penis in happiness.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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