I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
