Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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