yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There r osticjed everywhere
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
