Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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