.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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