Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
