Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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