Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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