Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
