i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
