he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize