I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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