New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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