why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize