i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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