Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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