We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
