Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
