can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize