I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
