Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
