you guys were way drunker than both of me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
