did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
