so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
