how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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