I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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