Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
