it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
