did you get engaged???
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
