Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize